The 50 states if they were people in a bar. Maine is not perfect

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A recent Reddit post asked users the following question: “The United States is a bar, what is each state doing and drinking?”

As you can imagine, creative and pseudo-insulting stereotypes abounded.

While Florida “is drinking moonshine and riding an alligator through the orange groves to the local Publix,” Rhode Island is “drinking Narragansett pounders and is sitting on phone books on its barstool.”

Some are succinct but so spot-on it hurts:

Tennessee “is drinking Jack Daniels, and watching Nascar,” Texas is “singing karoake about how great Texas is,” Idaho is “drinking Keystone Light and pretending they are part of the South,” and California “is constantly buying drinks for others, yet has failing kidneys from lack of hydration.”

While others are longer and meticulously detailed:

New Hampshire “is a skinny, nerdy white guy in a collared shirt and khakis, who also carried in signs for his favorite political candidate. He’s drinking craft beer and getting into philosophical and political discussions with Vermont and Maine, but is open to talk to everyone. He is quick to tell everyone he loves himself, and humbly without arrogance.”

And Washington “is a pale girl, very quiet and reluctant to be friendly to anyone except Oregon. She has glasses and a couple of books, and isn’t drinking because she’s enjoying a cup of coffee she got from her favorite place on the way here. She loves hiking with her boyfriend and documentaries on Netflix. She suddenly yells at New Jersey for throwing a napkin on the floor and not in the correct recycling bin.”

So what’s Maine doing and drinking amid this fictitious hullabaloo?

Not very much and nothing too strong, according to Reddit.

It seems we’re “wearing an L.L. Bean flannel and drinking Allen’s Coffee Brandy.”

I’ll admit, I’m a bit disappointed in this one.

Okay, so I can understand the coffee brandy reference. There is a Maine history and tradition when it comes to Allen’s.

And of course L.L. Bean flannels have to be included in a Maine stereotype, as has been conventional since 1912.

But no reference to us drinking a locally brewed beer after having caught a few dozen lobsters, wrestled a black bear, and hiked Mt. Katahdin, while munching on blueberries and complaining about some man named Paul?

It’s a pity.

At least we’re not like Massachusetts. They’re in a bar fight with New York over sports.