Study: How you smell could lead you to a politically like-minded mate

Reuters photo.

Reuters photo.

What do liberals smell like?

According to a new study published in the American Journal of Political Science, their odor is different from conservatives’ and could have as much to do with political ideology as it does grooming habits. Furthermore, the study found that your nose could lead you to a politically like-minded mate.

The recent study involved 146 participants who were asked to — I don’t know how else to put this — sniff a bunch of Republicans and Democrats without looking at them.

While the study fell short of finding that you can identify a Republican or Democrat by his body odor alone, it did discover that “one of the reasons why so many spouses share similar political views is because they were initially and subconsciously attracted to each other’s body odor.”  There were no findings on where politi-smell ranks between “physical beauty” and “drives a BMW” on the spectrum of attractants.

In another argument in favor of my personal opinion that the scientific community doesn’t know how to have fun when it’s right there in front of them, the study is titled “Assortative Mating on Ideology Could Operate Through Olfactory Cues.” I will say that assortative mating sounds like a good time.

The study, done by researchers from Brown, Harvard and Pennsylvania State universities, didn’t delve into what Republicans and Democrats smell like, but I’m imagining apples on one side and oranges on the other. The study also didn’t rate your chances of finding a mate if you’re one of the more than 30 percent of Mainers who are not enrolled in a political party and smell like, say, sour grapes.

These findings are probably too late to affect the outcomes of this election season but I predict that in 2016 we’ll see crop-dusters circling overhead — each labeled with “Paid for by (insert political action committee)” to satisfy the Maine Ethics Commission — spraying the masses with odors in an attempt to rally their bases.

Christopher Cousins

About Christopher Cousins

Christopher Cousins has worked as a journalist in Maine for more than 15 years and covered state government for numerous media organizations before joining the Bangor Daily News in 2009.